Hey. I’m Matt Ruby and this is Sandpaper Suit, my comedy blog. About me: I'm a standup comic in NYC. I host two shows: "Flying Carpet," a monthly show at Rififi, and "We're All Friends Here," a monthly standup/talkshow combo at The Creek and The Cave (also available as a podcast). Check my MySpace page to see all my upcoming gigs. What's here: At this blog, I post 1) funny stuff — jokes, videos, etc. and 2) not funny stuff about the art of standup. More:Mruby.com tells you everything else about Matt Ruby that you ever wanted to know but were afraid to ask. Email:matt@mruby.com.
I used to be in a band and we used to practice in a rehearsal space in Chicago. The room next to us had this guy who was always playing drums alone, working on his technique, practicing one-handed fills, etc. Our drummer, Rich, thought this was ridiculous.
I'll always remember the advice Rich wanted to give this guy on how to be a good drummer: "Stop practicing your fills, smoke more weed, read Aldous Huxley, and listen to Ringo."
Good advice that. I guess the comedian equivalent would be: Stop writing at home and get up onstage more, smoke more weed, go see pros at The Cellar, and, well, still listen to Ringo. (Actually, if you watch the Beatles Anthology, Ringo really is hilarious.)
I was talking with a comic who likes to get small writing groups together to bounce ideas off each other. I have heretofore been very protective of my writing and assumed all comedians would be insulted if invited to such a session. Now I'm wondering if it could actually help. She said you have to pick someone whose style of comedy you like and respect. Their purpose is to help you develop your ideas or take them in a new direction, not write your material for you or give you a direct punchline. Would you ever write with someone else or allow a group to influence your ideas?
Yes, I think writing with someone else can be very helpful and I do it on occasion. (I've only written with one other person at a time, not sure how a group session would work.) Sessions like that help cuz you get to say stuff out loud, bounce ideas around, get a different perspective, etc. How much influence others have is up to you. It's not like you have to follow their advice.
Def good to do it with someone you know, trust, and think is funny. You need to be able to tell each other straight up if something sucks.
Also, I definitely don't think it's insulting to be invited to do this. In general, feeling insulted or offended won't get ya far as a comic. Thick skin and all that.
And I'd advise against being protective of what you write. Most of what you (or anyone else) writes sucks. Oh well. Deal with it, get it out there, kill the crap, and build on the occasional jewels.
In fact, it's kind of a good idea to fall in love with negative feedback. Compliments are nice but knowing what went wrong is just as educational (maybe more?) than knowing what went right.
P.S. I know this Q&A stuff makes me sound like a condescending prick. (OK, I usually sound like that anyway.) Anyhow, feel free to take it all with a grain of salt or post why you disagree in the comments. You can also leave any more questions in the comments.
So Mark and I are in Boston hanging out after a show and discussing what to do the next day. We're talking about going to see revolutionary shit — stuff from the American Revolution, not iPhones or new Nikes — on the Freedom Trail.
Some dude hanging out next to us goes, "Nah, don't do that." So I ask him what he recommends instead. He says, "You drink, right?" I say, "Yeah." He answers, "Well, there's a couple of brewery tours you could do. And then there's also this outside bar that you can hit up starting at noon."
So this guy thinks the only worthwhile thing to do in Boston during the day is drink. Who gives a shit about where Sam Adams lived when you can drink him instead?
At this point, I decide to fuck with him a bit. "That's cool for me, but my friend here doesn't drink." This pale look comes over the dude's face. He thinks for a few seconds. Then he perks up and says (seriously), "Well, do you do meth?"
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. You don't consume alcohol...so clearly you must dig METH. Like that's the logical next step. "You don't kiss on the first date? You must love being gangraped then!"
I was tempted to fuck with him even more. But then it occurred to me that methheads aren't known for how well they take a joke. You don't see a lot of methheads being roasted at The Friar's Club. (Well, unless you count Stephen Seagal or Drew Carey.)
The incident also makes a case for the idea that brewery tours are a crock of shit. Everyone knows that the whole point is the beer drinking at the end of the tour. It's not like anyone gives a shit about vat technology. "Yeah, please enlighten me about hops and barley...this knowledge will be wonderful for my thesis on why I'm divorced and under house arrest again."
Actually, maybe this guy should start offering tours of his meth lab: "The bathtub lab tour that will blow you away...maybe literally!"
I had kinda dismissed Greg Proops as that goofy TV guy that does improv, pre-Oscars coverage, game shows, etc. Turns out he's actually a hilarious standup too. Who knew? Listen to "Paul McCartney" off his "Houston, We Have A Problem" album. Great bit. The whole album is strong too. I get a little of a Carlin vibe in how he's not afraid to be really scripted and literate with his jokes. Plus his riffs are impeccable too. Really fun when he goes after the crowd for not keeping up.
So I'm at a mic at The Pit. Late night, kinda dismal, tired crowd. I get up onstage and girl is talking in the front row. I comment on it and move on. Then I start in on this joke about a band I saw. I say they sound like Limp Bizkit but less talented and I'm getting on to the rest of the bit when the girl starts talking again.
Turns out she likes Limp Bizkit. I ask her if it's the lyrics or Fred Durst's charm she likes. She also likes Linkin Park. And Nickelback. I told her that made sense. If you like the smell of shit, you'll love the smell of farts. I then ponder if she's a teenage boy who likes to lift weights. Here's the audio:
I dove right in because I was happy to have something in the moment to riff on. It was the sort of room where written stuff wasn't gonna fly very well anyway. So I chose to view her talking as a gift, not an insult.
She kept talking throughout the night and someone else yelled at her hard later. It got applause but I don't think that's the way to go. I think anger usually equals fear. They smell the same to me. The calmer you are when handling a talker/heckler, the more you seem like a pro.
Besides, she fucking likes Limp Bizkit and Nickelback. Life has been tough enough on her already.
When I first started, I had enormous difficulty dealing with hecklers. Any time anyone in the audience said anything, I instantly went on the attack, and in a rather inelegant fashion. I just tried to shut people down with insults. What took me forever to learn was that you have to give these people enough rope to either hang themselves or show that they are not actually a threat.
I would just say when you’re getting heckled, just really go with what you’re thinking, because even if it isn’t funny, it’s going to be something hateful. If you just really tapped into how sad that person was making you, you could turn it into something. There’s no formula for it. I would just go with what the hell you’re thinking.
Carson was such a master. So much to love here: When Ed Ames goes to get the tomahawk, Johnny grabs him as if to say, "Oh no ya don't. This is what I live for." Then he milks the laughs some more. Then he starts sharpening the blades on his tomahawks — metaphorically and literally. And then bursts the bubble with the absolutely perfect line. So good.
Do you get more laughs with a clean cut hair cut or with a sloppy mop up top? like if i get too close of a haircut and tell a slightly racist joke, i might get booed off the stage, keep it long and it'll probably fly. is it mean or is too clean cut not funny. like why is this comic's shirt tucked in?
Yeah, I do feel like there's a slightly different vibe onstage now that my head's shaved. But I think it'd be pretty weak to blame a joke not going over on my haircut. My cut may be military-like but I think my delivery and material usually do a good job of indicating who I actually am.
Also, it depends on what kind of comic you are. Someone like Zach Galifianakis or Matt McCarthy cultivate a zany look and it works because they are zany comics. People like Brent Weinbach or Jim Norton or Patton Oswalt keep it tight and that works fine for them.
As for dress, most comics look like slobs. I think that's lame. I like it when performers look like performers. I like when Paul F. or Steve Martin wear a suit. It shows me they respect the stage.
When I see a comic dressed in jeans and a hoodie, some part of me expects them to be generic. If you're a sheep in how you dress, the odds go up that you're gonna be a sheep in the jokes you tell. And don't even get me started on the lameness of cargo shorts onstage (or anywhere for that matter). Of course, plenty of successful comics dress this way so it's not a 100% thing in any direction.
My take: Yes, this stuff matters somewhat. But if a joke depends on your haircut or your outfit in order to work, it probably wasn't that great a joke. If your look is true to your personal style and onstage voice, you'll do fine.
Got a question ya want to ask? Post it as a comment.
1. County Fair hosted by Ross Hyzer Mon 8/25 - 8:00pm Pianos: 158 Ludlow Street (between Stanton and Rivington)
Guests: Claudia Cogan (ECNY Nominee, Best Female Standup) Ben Kissel (the bizarro me - or am I the bizarro him?) Joe Mande (Best Week Ever) Matt Ruby (the MTV) Lisa Delarios (Live at Gotham) and Baron Vaughn (Aspen Comedy Festival)
2. Substantial Stand Up hosted by Dan Fontaine Tues 8/26 - 8:00pm TenEleven: 171 Ave. C
Guests: Mike Lawrence Pat O'Shea Dan St. Germaine Kumail Ali Joselyn Hughes Matt Ruby Adam Newman
Fun weekend. "We're All Friends Here" on Friday was a blast as usual. I think we're starting to really hit our stride with the show. There's always a few what the fuck moments and everyone always learns something new (e.g. did you know that wart hypnotizers exist?). We also explored the causes of anti-semitism, big butts, cocaine vs. ecstasy, etc.
I once heard Howard Stern say that if he felt like he shouldn't talk about something on the air then he knew that's exactly what he should talk about. We're using that as a guiding principle of "We're All Friends Here." And I think it's a big part of why the show's so fun.
Then on Saturday, I debuted The Hip Hop Pirate at the Delusions of Spandex show at Parkside Lounge. You will be hearing more from the funky buccaneer shortly. And a video is in the works too. Stay tuned.
Then headed over to Comix to catch the John Mulaney/Nick Kroll late show. They killed it. Mulaney is on such a tear. His Comedy Central Presents tapings is this week (ticket info) and I imagine that's the set we heard. It's going to be the shit. Def some Paul F. and Birbigs influence going on in how his newer bits are interesting stories that still manage to deliver lots of funny along the way.
My fave part of the show was seeing Kroll and Mulaney bring the "Oh, Hello" boys back to life. Just cool to see that level of agreement and unity when characters are totally ridiculous. Plus, they seemed to be entertaining each other a ton too. You def pick up the vibe when two performers have known each other for years and genuinely like each other.
I'm a big Kroll fan too. Fabrice Fabrice live is like nothing else. And the act-outs in his standup are so over the top. Really brings an actorly vibe to stuff which can take bits to a whole new level (Baron Vaughn does this really well too).
Related: I was kinda surprised that Mulaney is writing for SNL now. Is it really a step up to go from a CCP to an SNL writing gig? Hmm. I gotta think he's angling to be on the show in the future. I think he'd make a great news guy (Tina Fey and Seth Meyers both took the writer > news route). Would be cool to see SNL pull in Kroll eventually too. Could totally see "Oh, hello" guys and Fabrice as SNL characters.
And finally, on a serious note, best wishes to Joe Powers. Funny comic, sweet guy, and friend of mine who was injured in some sort of freak roof/balcony accident this weekend. Got this Facebook message about it: "Fellow comedian and friend Joe Powers survived a serious accident this weekend and is currently at Bellevue Hospital in stable but very serious condition in the intensive care unit. While the injuries he sustained are serious, he is doing well." Here's to a speedy recovery.
Norm Macdonald's so fucking good. The timing, the deadpan, the twinkle, etc. One of those guys who might not have huge mainstream success, but smart comics all recognize how brilliant he is.
And now he's getting almost Kaufman-esque with this awkwardly gentle roast of Bob Saget:
Some more Norm greatness in case you've never seen: Here's Norm, Conan, and Courtney Thorne-Whatever discussing Carrot Top. The fun starts around 1:40 in. Legendary.
I love how Conan nearly falls off his chair at the end.
This is what I've noticed. He doesn't even look like a fucking camel. He looks so much like a cock, because you know how it's usually subliminal, where you have to find the cock? Right? This character, you have to find the goddamn camel!
He used the same bit on The Daily Show once too. It was two days after crocodile hunter Steve Irwin died. When Norm starts in on the Irwin thing, Jon Stewart goes, "Please don't do this anymore."
Topics covered: dating a heroin addict, menstruation, terrorism, Pakistanis vs. Indians vs. Jews vs. Arabs, weed arrests, marriage, and more. More episodes here.
And come check out the next "We're All Friends Here" show on Friday featuring Jesse Popp, Sean O'Connor, Neal Statsny, and Jena Friedman.
We're All Friends Here Aug 22 @ The Creek 8pm Free Hosted by Matt Ruby and Mark Normand 10-93 Jackson Ave at 49th Ave Long Island City, Queens Subway: 7 to Vernon/Jackson, G to 21 St/Van Alst, E or V to 23 St/Ely Ave.
Sweet outdoor patio for hanging out after the show too. Come on out.
In the past week I did one show where there was a 3 year-old in the room and one where the audience was almost entirely foreigners. I don't really stop and think about my jokes as a whole until I wind up in situations like those.
With the kid in the room, I realized how not clean my act is. Tons of cursing, talking about sex and blow jobs, etc. Even when I tried to do a clean joke, I realized it ended with fuck and motherfucker in the punchline. And that's not to mention all the miscellaneous fuck and shits I throw in as asides.
A few comics I know have been doing camp shows this summer for 12 year-olds. I don't think I'm cut out for that. I guess I could just come up with different bits for that audience but I don't think it's worth it. Sure, stage time is stage time. But I really don't care what a bunch of fifth graders think about my act. If I did, I'd just go do another set at Nick's Comedy Stop. [Hi-yo!]
As for the foreigners, that's a show at a youth hostel uptown. Done it twice now. Makes me realize how many of my jokes are about American or language-specific things. Stuff that's funny to natives but not necessarily to people from around the world.
I tried to single out the universal stuff beforehand but it's tough to tell what's gonna fly. What works best there is crowd work stuff or anything in-the-moment.
Another comic told me his approach was to just tell his jokes and they either get it or they don't. Admirable in a way but I think you've got to listen to the audience and calibrate at least somewhat. Or that's what I like doing at least.
But like I said, the best reactions were to in-the-moment stuff. For example: It's a silly basement room at a youth hostel so there was a guy on a laptop, another guy texting, and a girl filing her nails. She was in the front row so I called her out on it and explained that filing your nails is the universal symbol for being bored. Audio below.
Now I just need to work on my witty comeback for when someone's clipping their nails in the front row.
So all summer I've been doing these talking head spots on the MTV show "FNMTV." They show me videos and I make fun of 'em. Kinda like Best Week Ever but the targets are stupid bands instead of celebrities. I made this video to show y'all what that process is like (move over Billy Bush!):
This week's FNMTV will feature the Solange Knowles and Gym Class Heroes videos I mentioned along with whichever comments of mine they choose to use (airs every day in the AM).
A lot of standups hate on improv but love "Curb Your Enthusiasm." That doesn't make much sense since Curb is mostly improvised. Maybe they just mean they hate shitty improv. But really, who doesn't? Shitty standup ain't no picnic either.
Speaking of Curb/improv, I think Jeff Garlin's manager character on the show is a near-perfect example of "Yes, and..." No matter what ridiculous scheme Larry concocts, Jeff is right there in agreement and ready to be an enabler. You want to steal a golf club out of a dead guy's casket? Sure, I'll help you do that.
Here's a great Curb scene where Larry and his wife pretend to be Republican WASPs in order to get into a country club:
OK, so I post joke ideas here in written form sometimes. The problem is written jokes usually aren't nearly as funny as they are on stage. No delivery, timing, etc. How often do you read a joke in a book, magazine, or online and actually laugh at loud?
I bring this up because comments are now open here. Earlier today I posted a joke and an anonymous commenter left a message that said, "Crickets." I presume that was this person's way of telling me the joke wasn't funny.
Slight problem there though: The joke is funny. To some people at least. I've told it a few times and it does surprisingly well. Here's a clip of it from a set I did in Boston:
I'm not saying it's the greatest joke in the world but it works. And one thing I like about telling it is people start to get it at different points in the joke. It reminds me of a bit in Steve Martin's book (some excerpts) where he talks about how he doesn't like punchlines because he likes jokes where audience members have to decide for themselves when to laugh. He explains that style of joke creates a deeper connection than straight setup/punch jokes because the person decides on their own when to laugh.
Anyway, back to the point: "Anonymous" is certainly entitled to think the joke sucks (or just isn't funny in written form). And do feel free to leave comments here if ya think a joke sucks. I actually enjoy negative feedback when it's thoughtful. Just keep in mind that written jokes aren't the ideal format. (Not to mention a lot of the things I post here are untested ideas. I'd argue that new jokes are like baseball at-bats: A 30% success rate means you're doing pretty well.)
And I'd respect "Anonymous" more if he/she left their name. Anonymous, negative comments are lame. Here's the way I tend to picture anonymous online commenters:
I decided I want to get better at doing stuff around the house. You know, painting fences, scrubbing decks, waxing cars, etc. So the super at my mom's housing development agreed to help me out and teach me this stuff.
So I went over to his house to start learning but he just started showing me karate moves. And I'm like, um, ok. But then for three days straight he had me doing nothing but karate moves. Finally, I was like, "Listen dude. I came hear to learn how to paint fences and scrub decks and wax cars, not do your karate for you!"
Anyone not see where this is going yet? I can continue if I have to. I can enter a car waxing competition against the evil car waxers from the other side of town. "Sweep the wrist, Johnny! Sweep the wrist!" There can be a sequel to this where I start scrubbing decks in Okinawa. Alas, I think that's enough though.
The biggest thing I noticed about Birbigs' 80 min set at UCB the other month: how effortless it was. He just seems so natural up there. No big show. He's such an everyman onstage. Especially when you consider how clever and what a craftsman he really is. I also love his kinda half-assed act outs (see Kenny G) that get the point across but are still true to his own personality.
Of course, the fact that he's subtle makes it tougher to work certain crowds, like a venue full of Opie and Anthony fans [via The Comic's Comic]:
Ouch. No wonder he's moving to doing theater shows. I can't recall him ever using the word "motherfucker" before. Even when he tries his money joke ("a rapist wouldn't have a bed like that..."), he rushes through it and gets little reaction from the crowd.
(I've noticed in my own stuff that there's a direct correlation between confidence and timing. When shit's on, timing seems to just take care of itself. When it's rough, I start rushing through jokes thinking that I need to get to the punch as fast as possible. But then I lose inflection and wind up sounding like a robot.)
Re: the O&A crowd, I've heard similar stories about the crowds at Artie Lange shows and saw it firsthand when I caught Joe Rogan at Caroline's. Crowd was a bunch of mooks who watch Fear Factor and Ultimate Fighting. It sucked because I've heard Rogan interviewed and he's very soulful and intelligent. He wasn't that night though. It was more like watching a guy step into the ring.
I recently did the Shrink show at Otto's Shrunken Head, a venue that's also a Tiki bar. Here's a photo showing what the stage area looks like, Tiki heads and all. There was also a Mac laptop onstage showing photos. And there were flashing lights going too. It was rather distracting. Here's what I said about it:
Um, anyway...Methinks hardcore vegans have a little too much of a chip on their shoulder. 'Cuz they use some stupid logic, like this: "Drinking milk is wrong because humans are the only species that drinks the milk of another animal."
Yeah, but maybe that's because we're the only species that could figure out how to do it. It's not like there's a gang of salmon working on pasteurization. Roosters don't milk cows...that could be a moral choice, or it could be that they don't have hands. We're also the only species that builds houses out of brick but I don't meet a lot of vegans going, "That's why I live in a nest. Boo bricks."
Another beef I have with vegetarians: When they claim that vegetarian food tastes just as good as meat. Bullshit. You know this is BS because when you go to a vegetarian restaurant, the menu is filled with fake meat products. Tofurkey, fake'n, sham, etc. These are the tribute bands of the food world.
You can't hate the real thing but like its impostor. That's like saying, "I can't stand Vegas but Branson, Missouri is the bomb." Or "Heineken sucks. But O'Douls rules!" You can't dress up your Uncle Sal in muttonchops and a white jumpsuit and tell me he's just like Elvis Presley. Oh wait, sorry: Elvis Parsley. Because the only worse than the fact that you like crappy food is that you like crappy puns.
Continuing in the stream of recent Louis CK posts here...Maybe I'm late to the party but I just found out the other week that Louis got divorced recently. Kind of takes all those jokes about his kids and his wife and puts them in a different light.
Feels similar to when Howard Stern got divorced. A huge part of why those guys could talk the way they did was because you knew (or felt like you knew) that deep down they were actually loving family guys.
The guy who goes home to his wife and kids can get away with slamming them onstage and still have it be endearing in a way. The guy who's no longer with his wife and kids and tells nasty jokes comes off sounding a lot different. Will be interesting to see how this impacts his standup.
One of my fave sets ever is this legendary Bernie Mac Def Comedy Jam spot:
Jokes are dumb but man does he rip it. Gets in rhythm and owns the fucking place. Love the crowd reactions. And those pants. At what point in your life are you like, "You know what would look good on my pants? An airbrushed portrait of my face!" RIP Bernie.
So maybe I'll start posting some more riffs here. First up is from a set a couple weeks back. A comic before me was talking about "Keith Ledger." He then realized that wasn't right. Someone yelled out, "Heath Ledger." He replied, "No, the guy who plays The Joker." I went on a few minutes later and commented on that.
Myq wrote: it was pretty cool the PIT was full and the audience was generally really good you ever do it or think about it? it's good stagetime, for sure
I wrote: i haven't done it because i don't want anyone to see my giant pussy. but yeah, i hear they always pack the place.
Myq wrote: understood it's definitely great to do if you have a huge dick like me i mean if you Are a huge dick like me no have i mean have
The TV show "The NFL Today" used to feature a professional oddsmaker named Jimmy The Greek. He was also a professional alcoholic. He was fired when, during a drunken interview, he gave his theory on why blacks are better athletes than whites.
Poor idea there for sure. But why might he have thought it was ok to discuss race and ethnicity in public this way? Perhaps it was because, for his entire life, he had been called Jimmy THE GREEK. Maybe that's the point when you stop being super-sensitive to racial topics, when people refer to you as [Your name] the [Your ethnicity].
And I love that people who thought it was fine to call him Jimmy The Greek were outraged by what he said. Imagine if instead of Jimmy The Greek, he was Raoul The Mexican . Would people have still been shocked? "You know who just said something insensitive? Raoul the Mexican! I just can't believe that Raoul the Mexican could be so culturally insensitive! It's too bad Raoul The Mexican isn't as enlightened about race as I am. I'm really disappointed in you, Raoul The Mexican."
The funny thing is his name wasn't even actually Jimmy, it was Dimetrios Georgios Synodinos. He was Greek after all. I can see the tech guys in the booth trying to type out his name out and being like: "D-i-m...oh, hell no. Jimmy. That fucker's Jimmy. Jimmy what? Uh, where's he from? Alright, good enough!"
Brent Musberger even used to call him just "Greek" on air. "Who do you have in this game, Greek?" I don't think this would've flown with other ethnic groups. You wouldn't hear: "Bengals-Lions: Who's gonna win, Jew?"
The Comedy Studio On Thursday, I did Myq and Micah's (final?) show at The Comedy Studio in Boston. What a great room. Rick Jenkins, the guy who runs it, gives the place a fun, intimate vibe. You can tell he really cares about taking care of the performers and the crowd. And that's pretty rare for comedy clubs.
Myq and Micah are both super comics (and soon to be full time NYC-ers). They had their work cut out for them as hosts: Some dude in the crowd wouldn't stop yelling shit out. They told him to shut up several times but he kept talking to the comics until he got a warning from the owner that he'd get the boot. Then things settled down.
Mark Normand, who went up there with me, had a great set. I had a good one too though my last joke, an old one where I make fun of the gay pride parade, fell flat. I wanted to tell one more but then I couldn't think of a quick one and the light was already on and I said fuck it and ended my set there.
I remember thinking it was super awkward and that I paused for like 10 seconds but when I watched the tape it wasn't bad at all. Still, I woke up at 6am the next morning thinking about it and couldn't get back to sleep. Being sensitive to even little mistakes is a double-edged sword: It keeps you on the track to getting better, but it can be tough to judge a set objectively when you fixate on the little things that went wrong instead of the good things that went right. But anyway, lesson learned: I'll now remember to have a quick one-liner ready to go if my last joke doesn't hit the way I want.
Nick's Comedy Stop The next night I did a guest spot at Nick's Comedy Stop. This is a "real" club. Over 100 people there. The guy who hooked me up with the spot advised me to "be dumb, be dirty, and don't tell 'em you're from New York." I tried my best. Did a quick five minutes that started out well but tapered off at the end. I ended with my joke about "avant garde blowjobs," which has been killing, and it got hardly anything. I actually don't think they knew what avant garde meant.
Also, my Jerry Orbach joke didn't fly all that well. I'd say maybe he's only a fun topic to New Yorkers, but I've done well with that joke in Chicago too. Maybe I'm just not feeling it anymore. Crowds can smell that.
But man, you shoulda seen the jokes the other comics were hitting with. The crowd loved when they made fun of people from Revere or Somerville (boy, are they dumb!), dick jokes, and some over-the-top racist jokes about Asians. In fact, one comic put pantyhose over his head to pull his eyebrows back and then did his William Hung impersonation. I shit you not. That may be the precise moment when I realized I don't really want to become a club comic. Not if it's anything like that.
ImprovBoston On Saturday night, we went back to catch the early show at The Comedy Studio. (By the way, one thing I noticed about the Boston comics I saw: They didn't veer from the plan much. Not a lot of riffing, crowdwork, or commenting on what's happening. It was almost exclusively setup/punch and then move along.)
Then, I did a late night set at ImprovBoston, a bit like the UCB of Boston. I was the only comic on the show and then there was a video and a sketch group. It was a cold open — the hosts announced the show and then brought me up without any warmup. Still, I had a really fun, longer set. Solid all the way through and got to branch out and tell some of my more storyish jokes. Great crowd who got it and played along nicely. Compared to the previous night, it was a real pleasure.
It all got me thinking. Funny is funny and I want to be able to make people laugh anywhere. And I know you're not supposed to blame the audience (Chris Rock and Louis CK always say that). But man, I'll take places like The Comedy Studio or a theater crowd like ImprovBoston's over a papered (free admission) audience that just wants to hear dick jokes and monosyllabic words. This weekend was a good A-B comparison of that.
There's nothing that makes it easier. They have this comedy convention in Las Vegas. They have the agents and the managers and the talent scouts from the shows and they have these seminars and they have discussion groups. And I would like to be in charge of that thing. I would get rid of all those people and I would bring all the comedians into a big room and I'd have a huge banner come down that says, "Just work!" And I'd send everyone home.
Everyone wants to know if there's some way of getting around all the work and I'm here to tell you: "No." If you want to walk the tightrope, that's what it takes. That's why so few people make it. And that's why it is the profession that it is.
There's a great interview in the On Comedy series on Laugh.com where they interview Jerry Seinfeld, which is a world of insight into stand up. Seinfeld talks about stand up as being a scene and the audience as your scene partner. They're responding, you're listening and then responding back. They're not responding verbally but with their laughter and applause.
It's a conversation, not a monologue. They'll tell you where to go if ya listen.
Looks like Rififi is really done. I dropped by the show last night for a bit. Best line referencing the closing I heard came from Tom McCaffrey: "Rififi's closing? Ninth time's the charm, I guess."
Below, check out the new video trailer and podcast from the second "We're All Friends Here" show. Featuring Ben Kissell, Mike Drucker, Cassidy Henehan, and Becky Ciletti (show was on 6/13/08). Topics covered: Goth girls, albinos, marrying young, gay dreams, Ken Griffey Jr., lesbians, sex with bananas, etc.
The next Flying Carpet will be August 10 at Rififi...or will it? I just got a note from the manager at Rififi that tomorrow may be the last day it's open.
it's quite possible that thursday will be the last day that rififi will be open, it seems that the owner of rififi has come to an impasse with the landlord... as you might have known rififi has been occupying the space on a month-by-month basis since march and the landlord is now asking for substantially more money, it's possible that he's playing hardball but if an agreement isn't be reached by thursday then it will really be the last day that rififi is open.
i'm sorry we didn't have a couple of weeks to plan for this but the relationship between the landlord and the owner has always been somewhat unstable so it was hard to predict if and when the end would actually come... please be assured that all of the time and effort you put into producing your show has been greatly appreciated, if there is any change in the situation i will let you know as soon as i hear about it.
In CK in the UK, Louis talks about his worst set in years.
So far I have done one show, last night. And I pretty much ate it. I mean I fucking really bombed horrrrribly. I mean it was the worst set I've had in years. Years and years again. I mean holy nigger tits did they hate me. I did half an hour. Fifteen minutes in people were just chatting like I wasn't there. I opened weak and closed weaker and in between I sweated about four me's onto the floor. I can't believe I'm still alive. Toward the end, a very vicious man, yelled out simply "You're a loser!" and I said back to him, "Yes, sir. I am." and then more silence. I took a breath and continued. Rare, rare moments of deep, hot, sweaty, shave a few days off the end of your life failure.
How do I feel about it? Last night I felt awful. That's part of bombing. I walked away with my head spinning. "This is a nightmare. They're going to hate me in London too. I'm over here for a fucking month!"
But today I'm okay with it. I'm owning it. So much that I'm unneccicarily spreading the word through my own website about how bad it went. How stupid is that?
I have to say that, for bombing, I bombed well. For the first ten minutes or so, I lost my composure, I gave them my timing and had salt in my eyes and throat. But then I slowly pulled back on the stick and righted things. I got back into the pocket, to where I know what I'm doing and I know I'm doing it well. I got my timing back to where I wanted it. I felt lucid and honest, which is how I need to feel on stage. But the show didn't get better. It was a very strange sensation that I have NEVER experienced. Usually, bombing is sort of chicken and egg. It's a spiral. They don't like you, so you lose confidence so you start sputtering and doing badly so they don't like you so you lose confidence and down and down and down.
But this was different. Because I recovered, I pulled out of the spiral, which is something that I can do just from sheer experience. I've been there a million times. But every time I"ve pulled out of the spiral, I've been able to take the audience with me. In this case, I came out of it, felt great, and yet they still hated me. It was strange. I did the rest of the show that way and then said goodnight. I think someone clapped at the end. He might have been beaten to death...
It's always your fault. you can NEVER blame the crowd.
I don't want any pity when I bomb. To me, bombing is a pure positive. Because it's a rare experience and it's a great education. Every great show, when you kill, is pretty much like any other great show. But every time you bomb, it is completely unique. I've never bombed the same way twice. And they stay with you, the bad sets, like Lyme disease or herpes.
I did my second show here in Dublin and it was unbelievably great.
I was really worried, I gotta tell you. It's amazing how, even with 23 years experience, a single show can make me question EVERYTHING. I ran five miles today. That's how seriously I took the whole thing...
I did about 40 minutes of all new material and it was everythign I hoped this would be, in that I had a great great experience, but entirely different from what I'm used to. The audience was generous, patient and thoughtful in a distinctly Irish way, Just as the audience the night before was impatient, mean and distracted in a distinctly Irish way.
I'm glad for both sets. Actually, I learned something the first crowd. They were no geniuses, but the experience still made me look at the material I've been doing on stage and it forced me to ask myself what of any of it is bullshit. Am I doing anything that I don't really believe in, just to get laughs?
It made me really think about my set tonight. I didn't do anything particularly different. But I ran my five miles, I paced a small patch of grass while I waited for my turn on stage and I brought my very best and truest to the set. And it paid off. Maybe I've been getting lazy. Crowds that I've been playing to on tour for the last couple of years have been great. Maybe they've been carrying me a bit. I can't let that happen.
I really liked this part: "The experience still made me look at the material I've been doing on stage and it forced me to ask myself what of any of it is bullshit." It's one thing to bomb with material that you really care about or really represents you. But if you fail doing stuff you don't really care about, that's the worst. Because then the audience is kinda right for not liking it/you. If you're not into it, why should they be?
I knew it was trouble from the beginning. Another comic I know well opened the show. His jokes that normally get big laughs were met with next to nothing. It didn't get better after the next comic either.
There was a good sized crowd. They just weren't laughing. A big crowd that's still dead is a special kind of beast. It's different than a small crowd that's quiet, which may still be having a good time even if they're not laughing loudly.
This room had tension. It felt antagonistic. A girl in front took a call on her cellphone as I was being introduced. Not a good sign.
I went for some quick hitting jokes upfront but didn't get much of anything from the crowd. Felt like a showdown. Then I tried to break it down with some jokes that were more personal and less clever. Still not huge laughs but they started to warm up. Then I hit them with some dirty jokes and a big act out at the end:
Got nice reaction on that so at least the end was strong. But it was, as Sean Patton said later about his spot, one of those "power-through sets."
Lame but true: Afterwards I kinda hoped the other comics would do poorly too. That way at least I could blame the crowd instead of myself. But two comics later, Patton blew it open. So it could be done.
After thinking about my set (and watching what worked with other comics), here's my theory on what the crowd wanted — and maybe it's what every big crowd that's still dead wants: 1) Go dirty/dumb. Tell jokes about fucking or tv shows or something that's not too esoteric. 2) More act-outs. Get into a character and act it up.
It's a lot more like dealing with a club crowd than a typical downtown room. Ya can't be overly clever or subtle. If they're not getting it, they're not getting it. Shake 'em up.
I was feeling pretty negative about my set, but on the way out I overheard an audience member talking about the show. As I walked by, the dude said to his friend, "This guy did the hard work. He broke 'em down." And actually, that was an awesome thing to hear.
Some nights ya get to drive 120 MPH. Other nights you're just trying to get from 0 to 60. Or 30. Or just off of 0 at least.
Open mics are a weird path to success. It's like if you decided that you wanted to win a gold medal in the Olympics. And they're like, "Sure, but first you've got to train with all the people at the Special Olympics." And you're like, "Ok, but these people don't even know which direction to run in...and I think they might be racists too."
But alas, you need stage time so what else are you gonna do? (My take: If you're not getting up 3+ times a week via booked shows, you should still be hitting mics.)
One way I try to stay sane at mics is to write down notes of things/people I think are funny...but not in the way they're supposed to be. Some examples:
1. "Am I right?" guy. He says the most absurd things and then tags them with "Am I right?" "They're shooting people in the schools. Am I right?" "Women deserve to be shot. Am I right?" Uh, whatever you say dude.
2. Some guy said this: "If you want a girl to pet your balls, pretend it's a puppy." WTF?
3. I enjoy when people laugh at the wrong places during jokes. Like one time this guy was setting up a joke and said, "I went to college." An audience member in the back started laughing.
4. Worst/best heckle ever: "I feel bad for you." Pretty bad, huh? Even worse: It was delivered by a girl who is handicapped.
5. One time a handicapped person got up onstage and told a really racist joke. Which led me to wonder: If someone handicapped tells a racist joke, are you supposed to laugh? It's like some sort of bizarre Zen comedy proverb.
6. You see plenty of Moleskine notebooks at mics. I love the aspirational tone of Moleskine's marketing copy: "This is the legendary notebook, as used by Van Gogh and Matisse, Hemingway and Chatwin." What they should say: "This is the legendary notebook, as used by thousands of shitty open mic'ers."
7. There was a guy in a Notre Dame shirt telling abortion jokes. That's like a guy in a PETA shirt telling Michael Vick jokes.
8. Ah, the 'ol unrelatable premise. "Remember the first time you joined the priesthood?" Ok, I made that one up. But that's what always comes into my head when I hear a comic who's got a premise you can't possibly relate to.
9. Sometimes there are mixed mics with musicians there too. One time a girl tuned between each song for an agonizingly long time and explained it by saying, "If you use a tuner, you lose your ears." Yeah, but if you don't use a tuner, you lose your audience. I love the level of disrespect for the audience there. "I'm going to do this thing that's really painful to you because it's better for me. Next I'm going to stab you repeatedly because it will be really good for my triceps!"
10. A few times I've seen a couple on a date at a mic. Neither one is a comic. What kind of bizarre S&M thing is that? Forget whips/chains, if you're attending open mics for fun than you are truly sick.
11. "Too soon" guy. No dude, not too soon...too not funny. Chronology was not the issue.
12. The guy who's convinced timing is the issue. One time, I saw a guy who ended a "joke" with "God is the king of all butt rapers." No one laughed. Then he said, "I know, I have to
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