Ya know who’s funny? Foreigners. They’re all like “Oooga booga…I don’t speak your language.” Hilarious!
I like how whenever something is bizarre, we call it “Chinese.” Chinese fire drill, Chinese checkers, Chinese water torture, Chinese handcuffs…Yet none of those are actually Chinese. We just use “Chinese” whenever we need to describe something that’s strange.
We should do this with other stuff too. Call a toupée a "Chinese mohawk." Tell a girl who’s PMSing: “Are you having your Chinese days?” Call a handjob a "Chinese handshake." You get the idea.
Sandpaper Suit is NYC standup comic Matt Ruby's (now defunct) comedy blog. Keep in touch: Sign up for Matt's weekly Rubesletter. Email mattruby@hey.com.
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