Whenever I get Chinese food, I get General Tso's chicken. I don't know who General Tso was but I bet he wasn't a very good general. Otherwise, he might be more famous for General Tso's battle plans instead of General Tso's chicken.
Great generals usually aren't known for the food they prepared. "You know what they say about Ulysses S. Grant: He makes one hell of a meatloaf! It is to die for. Especially if you are a confederate."
"You haven't lived until you've tasted General Patton's lasagna. It fights the war on two fronts: delicious and filling."
I bet General Tso's enemies made fun of him too: "Oh no, General Tso's army is attacking us...I hope they don't sauté us until we surrender!"
Sandpaper Suit is NYC standup comic Matt Ruby's (now defunct) comedy blog. Keep in touch: Sign up for Matt's weekly Rubesletter. Email mattruby@hey.com.
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