Recent Twitter posts

Follow me on Twitter for quickies like these:

I'm tired of backlashes. Those have totally jumped the shark. And I've just about had it up to here with people who have had it up to here.

Things I don't get: karaoke, guitar hero, rock band. Reason: I actually LIKE music.

The king of ending jokes with some sorta singsongy melody: Patton Oswalt. Always gets a laugh though.

Just watched a tape of a recent set where I said "oh boy" in between jokes 5+ times (as a filler while I think). Need to watch that.

Act outs that give voice to animals are always funny. Norm opens with one here...Seinfeld does it a lot too.

Restaurants of New York: You can just assume that I want tap and not bottled water from here on out.

NYC problem: The word "mixologist" is used way too much. "Bartender" was working just fine.

Saw Tropic Thunder last week. So bad. I don't get 99% of what goes for funny in movies today.

I would love to have a microphone like Gene Rayburn used on Match Game: photo

Music theft didn't start with MP3s. People jacked BMG Music Club for tons of CDs when I was in college. Top signup name used: C.D. Stealy.

Misprounced words = funny. E.g. Zach G w/ "characters" (pronouncing the ch- like in charades) or Greg Proops saying "Stipaul" for St. Paul.

myq on naked show: "it's weirder for the audience...not that i'm trying to sell you. do what you like. be clothes-minded." nice dad pun!

"The impressed applause break" = when a crowd applauds because of performance, not funniness. Ways to get it: long lists, big act-outs, etc.

People who live in glass houses...spend a lot on curtains. Huuuuge heating bills otherwise.