The definition of the word "anal"

It's weird that the word "anal" means either 1) you're doing a completely disgusting sex act or 2) you're incredibly neat. I'm sticking my penis where you shit...or I really like organizing my sock drawer!

If you are anal, you hate anal. Well, can you be a guy who's both anal and into anal? I guess it could work...some guy who uses his OCD as an excuse: "Nancy, I told you: I need to have sex with your body parts in alphabetical order!"

It almost seems like one of those things that would lead to a misunderstanding on Three's Company:

Larry: Jack, you told me she was an anal freak!
Jack: Larry, I meant a neat freak.
Mr. Furley: I don't think you're getting your beads back this time.
Larry and Jack [in unison]: Mr. Fuuuuurley!

Actually, I think if you're anal, you have to find a different way to degrade a woman. I guess you could call it emotional anal. Like you call your wife from a strip club. "Yeah, headed to the Champagne Room honey, just thought you'd like to know." It's still messy, but only in your head.

Y'know the key to a good joke about anal: You've got to stretch it as wide, I mean as long as you can.

Take it easy ladies, ya gotta be the butt of the joke sometimes!

Ok, this has gone too far.
That's what she said.

Enough. [Begins penning apology letter.]