It's always exciting when you're on a packed subway car during morning rush hour and you spot an empty seat. But then you remember there's usually a reason why a seat is empty.
The other day this happened and on the seat were half-eaten chicken wings and a bottle of Aunt Jemima maple syrup...just spilling all over the seat. Like there was some guy going "What's the most disgusting combination of things I can leave here? Well, I'm out of bull semen and Crazy Glue, so I guess this combo is just gonna have to do!"
Wings and syrup, what a way for this guy to start the day. I know you're not supposed to miss breakfast...but I think the most important meal of the day is any one that you don't eat on the subway.
Come to think of it, an NYC subway stew sounds like a good idea. I think it'd include chicken wings, maple syrup, nail clippings, a rat, a condom, a rat inside a condom, and Jerry Orbach's eyes.
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