Aw man. This whole thing inspired by a conversation at a party last weekend. Came up in a totally organic way when a Who song came on. Next morning I wrote it all up and was quite pleased with myself. Then showed it to someone else and they mentioned The Animaniacs already hit it. And in a VERY similar way. Oh well. Here it is anyway. At least the second half stuff wasn't covered by those ANIMALS. Chalk it up to parallel thinking. And it was still fun to deconstruct the original bit and closely examine what made it tick.
One: So how was that classic rock festival?
Two: Great stuff. The Who played first, The Band played second, Yes played third.
One: Who played first?
Two: Right.
One: I mean the band's name.
Two: The Who.
One: The band that played first.
Two: The Who.
One: The opener.
Two: The Who.
One: The first band on stage...
Two: The Who was the first band on stage.
One: I'm asking you who played first.
Two: That's the first band's name.
One: The Who's name?
Two: Right.
One: Well go ahead and tell me.
Two: That's it.
One: The Who?
Two: Correct.
PAUSE
One: Look, there was an opening band, right?
Two: Correct.
One: Who were they?
Two: That's right.
One: When they paid the band, who got the money?
Two: Every dollar of it.
One: The Who got the money?
Two: Absolutely.
One: Look, don't make me guess who.
Two: The Guess Who had to cancel.
PAUSE
One: Come on now. All I want to know is the name of the band that played first.
Two: No, The Band played second.
One: I'm not asking you who played second.
Two: The Who played first.
One: One band at a time!
Two: Well, don't change the order around.
One: I'm not changing the order.
Two: Take it easy, buddy.
One: I'm only asking you who is the band that played first.
Two: That's right.
One: OK.
Two: Alright.
One: The band that played first?
Two: No, The Band played second.
One: I'm not asking you who played second.
Two: The Who played first.
One: [Sarcastic] Oh sure. Yes.
Two: They played third, we're not talking about them.
One: How did I get to the third band?
Two: You mentioned their name.
One: Who did I say played third?
Two: No, The Who played first.
One: The band that played first was...?
Two: The Band was second. This is going in circles!
One: Yes.
Two: They played third.
One: There I go, back to the third band. PAUSE Let's just stay on the third band.
Two: OK, what do you want to know about them?
One: Who played third?
Two: Why do you insist on saying The Who was the third band?
One: What was the band I said went third?
Two: No, The Band played second.
One: Who was the band that played second?
Two: The Who played first. Are you sure you even care about this?
One: Yes.
[Together]: They played third.
PAUSE
One: Look, was there a headliner?
Two: Sure.
One: Who was the headliner?
Two: U2.
One: Did someone else already ask you this?
Two: Nope, you're the first.
One: Then tell me who was the headliner?
Two: The Who was the opener.
One: Forget about the opener! I want to know the band that headlined.
Two: No, The Band played second.
One: I'm not asking you who played second.
Two: The Who played first.
One: This is crazy.
Two: Yes.
[Together]: They played third.
PAUSE
One: The headliner's name?
Two: U2.
One: [sarcastic] A-ha. I see.
Two: A-ha? They played the second stage.
PAUSE
One: Look, did you have a favorite band that played?
Two: Sure.
One: Your favorite band's name?
Two: Boston.
One: You don't want to tell me here?
Two: I'm telling you here.
One: Then go ahead.
Two: Boston.
One: Where in the city?
Two: Where in the city what?
One: Where in the city are you going to tell me who your favorite band was?
Two: Now listen. The Who is NOT my favorite band.
One: I just want to know the band's name.
Two: The Band played second. Are you even listening?
One: Yes.
[Together]: They played third.
PAUSE
One: Did the second stage have a headliner?
Two: Certainly.
One: And the headliner was?
Two: Chicago. They were great.
One: So you really liked Boston and Chicago.
Two: Now you've got it.
One: I didn't know you were such a traveller. PAUSE Look, Let's say I'm in iTunes and I want to listen to the first band that you saw. Whose name do I start typing?
Two: Absolutely.
One: Who?
Two: Absolutely.
One: So I start typing "absolutely"?
Two: No, you don't. You start typing "Who."
One: So if I make a playlist with all the bands you saw at this festival, I'd start with The Who. After The Who, I'd put a song by The Band. After the band, there'd be a song by Yes. After Yes, we'd have U2. And there'd be some Boston and some Chicago. You know what? This is madness.
Two: This is what?
One: I said madness.
Two: C'mon, I hate ska!
Sandpaper Suit is NYC standup comic Matt Ruby's (now defunct) comedy blog. Keep in touch: Sign up for Matt's weekly Rubesletter. Email mattruby@hey.com.
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6 comments:
A modern version would have to include "OK Go" too.
I think you could have squeezed Gnarls Barkley in there somehow. Great job!
I never understood the running gag, "Hello Nurse!" I was a Tiny Toons person myself.
From the Wikipedia page on "Who's on First":
The 1960s comedy group The Credibility Gap recorded a variant in which a rock concert promoter (Harry Shearer) attempts to advertise a concert, headlined by The Who, The Guess Who, and Yes in the Los Angeles Times. When the advertising manager David L. Lander asks him why he does not simply write the ad copy down, Shearer closes the routine by saying, "If I could write, I wouldn't have had to steal this bit!"
Eugene Levy and Tony Rosato performed a variation on this theme on the TV series SCTV, with the rock groups The Band, The Who, and Yes. The final punchline changed to "This is for the birds (Byrds)!" "Oh, they split up years ago!"
Similarly, in an episode of Animaniacs, Slappy and Skippy Squirrel attend the first Woodstock Festival, where they pay homage to the routine by confusing the names of the bands The Who, The Band, and Yes.[7]
Dick Van Patten also performed a similar version with one of his television sons, Adam Rich, on the sitcom Eight is Enough during the late seventies.[8]
Thanks for the heads up Anonymous. Good one: "This is for the birds (Byrds)!" "Oh, they split up years ago!"
I'm pretty sure The Best Show on WFMU also did The Who part of this recently too....
Also, I've always loved the threat of violence in the original. "Why I oughtta..."
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