Some things I posted recently at twitter.com/mattruby:
Coldplay's new single is called "Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall." It's almost as if they are mocking themselves at this point.
You can tell how badly a woman wants to have children by how many pillows she has on her bed. More than five = the nesting process has begun.
Gonna start a Kickstarter page. Raising funds to support my new project: "I know how to spend your money better than you."
Philly-NYC Chinatown bus is a great way to get up to speed on race relations between Asian & Black people. Update: It's not going well.
No one loves having children more than boring people.
Obama won't release OBL photo: "We don't need to spike the football." Good point. When you kill someone, act like you've been there before.
The worst way to handle going bald: Becoming a hat guy. "Yeah, I'm just really into fedoras now."
Some men call it their "junk." Other men call it "the family jewels." Just goes to show: One man's trash is another man's treasure.
Sandpaper Suit is NYC standup comic Matt Ruby's (now defunct) comedy blog. Keep in touch: Sign up for Matt's weekly Rubesletter. Email mattruby@hey.com.
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