Thoughts on the Olympics, metrosexuals, and McCarren Park Pool

I dislike the word tweets. But that's what these are. Follow me @mattruby and you can get stuff like this flung at you on the regular:

Someone should figure out a way to mix the Olympics with advertising.

Men's skeet. Olympic event or Lil Jon song?

Little known Olympic fact: When Jewish athletes get medals, they're actually made out of chocolate.

My big move on the dance floor is texting.

Game show pitch: Lesbian or German?

Can't wait for someone famous to die soon so I can come on Twitter and make it all about me.

If you see me wearing my chewguard, it means either 1) I don't care at all what you think or 2) We are in love.

Public Rest Room Evacuated After Kid Uses It As McCarren Park Pool

I so wish the first rule of Burning Man was "Don't talk about Burning Man."

"Metrosexual" makes it sound like you want to have sex with a city.

Can't tell whether this soy milk has gone bad or just tastes like soy milk.

The not paying attention disease: ADD. The paying too much attention disease: Depression.

My parents really connected over wanting to be left alone.

Watching couple at comedy show debate whether or not to sit in front row. It's like deciding between joining the Marines or Coast Guard.

Drinking white wine and pissing in a trough. Pretty much sums up my life.